Parenting Teens

Watching a particular scene, in the recently released movie Grace Unplugged, has prompted within me the desire to pour out my thoughts and feelings concerning it. Referring to his wayward eighteen year old daughter, Grace's father says, as he looks heavenward, "She's yours now, Lord."

Yes, how necessary it is for all parents, who have surrendered their allegiance to Jesus, to surrender total parenting control to Him as well. Of course, no matter what, He is in control whether or not we humans turn over our supposed control to Him. Thankfully, He works in our lives and in the lives of our children no matter how much control we do or do not relinquish to Him. God the Father, as the only perfect parent, loves our children even more than we do, and what He has planned for them is best. His ways are higher than our ways, and there will always be much we are unable to understand about His ways. As we spend time wrestling in prayer with Him, seeking His guidance in His Word and His Holy Spirit, He will afford us His wisdom, knowledge and right thinking on how to parent our children. Our children are unmitigated blessings from Him, and to be blessed by Him with children is an awesome responsibility, one never to be taken lightly. With each passing year, as our children grow older, we afford them realistic opportunities to make more decisions for themselves. As they make poor decisions, they can choose to learn from them or not. This is all part of striving for independence that begins the very day of our birth.

Many these days have made a practice of accusing disciples of Jesus of brainwashing our children, by simply teaching them to seek God and His will through prayer and obedience to the precepts set forth in His Holy Word. They would prefer for us to offer our children up as sacrifices to the state, as if the state is not in the business of indoctrination. How convoluted and destructive this type of thinking is. How irresponsible and unloving it would be to keep from our children knowledge of the only way to truth, the only way to holy and righteous living, the only way to life eternal, the only way to peace that passes all understanding and joy unspeakable and full of glory. We are all born knowing God, with a conscience that divides right from wrong. The world begins it's seduction as soon as we are born into it, and if responsible parents remove their God-given, authoritative, loving teaching and correction from our children, how much sooner will the sad fall from truth inevitably occur. Many times opportunity and vulnerability are all that it takes for anyone of us to make a poor choice that leads us away from eternal life, and towards eternal death.  But for the grace of God there go I we can proclaim on an ongoing basis!  All of God's children have rebelled against Him, except for His only perfect child, so we can count on our imperfect children rebelling against their imperfect earthly parents as well as against their heavenly Father.  How easy it is for folks to have all of the answers when they have been faced with none of the problems personally. This seems particularly true when it comes to parenting.

Yes, we are called to relinquish our parental control to God's ultimate authority, while at the same time, we are called by God to do our part in guiding our children along the narrow way to eternal life. We are partners in conjunction with God as we raise our children to know Him and to make Him known. We will all make many heartbreaking mistakes in raising our children, and many variables come into play as we do so. There are those among us who feel things much more deeply than do others, for we allow ourselves to. Some children linger long in the nest while others fly to independence much earlier. Some live close by, while others live at a great distance. Myriad varying influences come into children's lives, for good and for bad. Some families are exceedingly blessed by being able to remain in their home areas, where their ancestral roots are firm and deep, while others lose their close systems of loving support as they move away from such vital, life-giving and enhancing familiar connections. There are families whose members are intimately connected, and families that are much more loosely joined. There are children whose lives are always open books unto their parents, while children in other families have many chapters that remain ever closed to their parents. How exceedingly easy it is for those among us who have not yet become parents, especially parents of rebellious teens, to offer up advice to those of us who are in the midst of unimaginable suffering and heartbreak, due to the rebellion of our teens. There are many who would rather point the finger of condemnation, even relishing in the pain that we are suffering, because they believe that the suffering is deserved. Instead of helping to bear our burden by lovingly coming alongside to offer comfort, encouragement, inspiration and love, or simply a shoulder to cry on, they prefer to say, "I told you so." It's as if they want us to wallow in our disappointment and pain, as they withhold loving support. Another hurtful reaction to our pain is when others are not willing to grieve with us, as they unthinkingly tell us we should move past our pain. How can we move past it when it's an ongoing condition?  We're living in the midst of it on a daily basis, wondering what antics our rebellious teens will act out next.  What hurtful words will they sling and why?  Will they come home tonight or not?  If not, where are they, with whom and what are they doing?  Is it illegal, safe, healthy?  Whom are they harming besides themselves and their concerned family?  Will they end up in jail or possibly dead?  We will not be able to move past the torment until our prodigals return to their first love - Jesus, who is the truth.  Sadly, many are unwilling to listen as we seek healing and comfort through talking about it. Until someone has walked in another's shoes, quite often we are sorely unequipped to extend the mercy, compassion and discernment needed in order to display the love of Jesus to another. WHY IS THAT? The reality of it is, as long as our child is a prodigal, our hearts will remain broken, that is, if we are responsibly engaged with our children. Of course, the Bible instructs us to be content whatever state we are in, and as hurting parents, we can achieve a state of contentment. It's necessary for us to be able to function in our daily lives. However, it is wise of us to remember that there will be days where we will be utterly depleted due to fighting the ongoing battle for our souls, and we will be unable to quench the grievous weeping over our children from deep within. It's healthier to allow ourselves to feel the deep well of profound pain, for then we are also able to feel the deep well of profound joy that is also a significant part of our lives, as we abide in Jesus. To attempt to stifle the devastating pain is unrealistic and crippling. Out of our painful experiences comes the ability to reach out to others in their suffering. It enables us to make a difference for good in this life as well as into eternity. It's part of the refinement process as we become more like Jesus, if we allow it. Out of our deep pain, we become warriors for Him, soldiers of the Cross, as we determine to keep our branches in His vine.

Is Scotty McCreery an Idol, a Hero or Merely a Boy?

With all the hoopla swirling around Scotty McCreery since he won American Idol last week, it's given me pause to reflect on the significance of earning such a title in our corrupt culture.  Given the nature of the production and his age, is seventeen year old Scotty truly a model of excellence?  For his age, he appears to be a thoughtful boy, and those who know him attest to the uprightness of his character.  His mom chaperons and guides him wherever he goes.  She is older, but is she wiser as she has led her impressionable young son into participating in such worldliness?  What has Scotty done that has presto-chango turned him into an instant hero?  Has he selflessly saved lives?  Has he sacrificially laid down his life for another?  What heroic act has he performed?  Has he displayed distinguished courage?  Can we admire him for his brave deeds and noble qualities?  Realistically, how noble can one be at age seventeen?  Has he earned the title of Prince?  Have years of experience of walking with Jesus made him a mentor, a sage or a counselor?  He certainly has attained fame, recognition, fortune, and popularity.  It's evident that he is regarded with blind admiration, adoration and devotion, but does that make him someone exemplary, or is he a mere image of something visible but lacking in substance?  Is he a figment of our imagination - a fantasy of what we want him to be?


I concur that he has moxie as a singer, but he has simply cultivated a God-given gift.  Without that, he would never have made it onto the stage of American Idol.  Can we admire him for something with which God has blessed him?  At opportune moments, Scotty does appear to give God the glory for His success, but is this genuine, and how can a seventeen year old understand all that entails?  How can we tell at his young age?  The statistics prove that most freshman in college, who purported to be Jesus' disciples while still in high school, fall away from their Lord, Master, and Saviour into lives of narcissism.  Is Scotty simply parroting his parents' faith as they've guided and instructed him to do?  Will the faith he proclaims to have in Jesus remain as the trials, persecutions, sufferings and pain of this life inevitably come?  How will he react to shattered dreams?  Will he allow Jesus to refine him into deeper purity and holiness or will he fall away from his first love?  Jesus' own words in Matthew 7:14 are quite sobering, " But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."  Will Scotty be included among the few to find eternal life?  That remains to be seen, does it not?  He's still only a boy.  Scotty will require much guidance from those older and wiser in their walks with the Lord.  Many prayers will need to be prayed on his behalf.  Many hours must be spent by Scotty in Bible reading and study.  Even then, there is no guarantee that Scotty will "endure to the end" as Jesus says in Matthew 24:13 must occur, for one to acquire eternal life. 


As Timothy 4:12 declares,  "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."  I pray this verse exemplifies Scotty's young life.  If it does, and his heart is right before God as he matures, maybe one day Scotty will be a hero and a mentor to his children and grandchildren, as well as to others.  That is yet to be determined.

The "Big Tent" Hipster church versus the Authentic Church, The Body of Christ

I ask you what is wrong with singing the old hymns?  What was so problematic with my grandparents' church?  A new kind of Christianity is needed?  Really?  

The postmodern church speaks of the religious left, the postmodern church, and the religious right, the Body of Christ.  To me, it's akin to the Reich church, definitely unChristian, under Hitler's evil reign compared to the Confessing Church, the Body of Christ, led by Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  The postmodern church is more interested in group hugs, warm fuzzies, providing a shoulder to cry on when folks get "real" with each other, telling folks they're fine the way they are instead of preaching the truth, instead of showing lost, hurting people that Jesus can bring them victory in their pain, as well as save them from their sinful selves!  As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, "Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the repentant sinner who departs from sin and from whom sin departs.  Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance.  Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.  Those who try to use grace as a dispensation from following Christ are simply deceiving themselves.  Isn't it a blasphemous encouragement to sin boldy and rely on grace?  Is there a more diabolical abuse of grace than to sin and rely on the grace which God has given?  Is this not the sin against the Holy Ghost?"  Words like diversity, pluralism and tolerance have anesthetized us to the reality of good and evil.  We’re called to love all men in the name of Jesus, not ignore their debauchery in the name of diversity.  Sin is a big deal to God.  So much so that He allowed Jesus to die on a cruel Roman cross to rescue us from its grip.  Glossing over evil - whether our own behaviour or something the entertainment media has produced - is to say in essence, “What you did is really of little value to me, God.  My view of sin is different from yours, and frankly I’m not that disturbed by it."  Tolerance is the cultivation of an attitude of indifference to things we see happening around us.  It is a numbing of one’s conscience, a dumbing down of one‘s convictions.  It is political, religious and cultural correctness.  It is being afraid to step on toes.  It is not wanting to make waves.  It is keeping one’s head in the sand like an ostrich.  In the name of peace, we tolerate evil.  In the name of tolerance, we accept sin and call it free enterprise or freedom of sexual persuasion.  We dare not stand up for what we believe for fear of being labeled intolerant.  The postmodern church, whose father is Brian McLaren, has acquired the policy of making grace available to all at too low a cost.  Their humanitarian sentiment makes them give that which is holy to the scornful and unbelieving.  The call to follow Jesus in the narrow way is rarely heard.  What has happened to the warnings of Martin Luther's against preaching the gospel in such a manner as to make men rest secure in their ungodly living?  That seduces folks to living on the mediocre level of the world.  Deceived and weakened, men feel strong having possession of this cheap grace -whereas they have in fact lost the power to live the life of discipleship and obedience.  “Tolerance” and “love” are two very different things.  Tolerance sees your sin and embraces it.  Grace sees your sin and hands you over to Christ's healing embrace.  As exemplary Bonhoeffer said, "Costly grace is the Gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.  Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ.  It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life.  It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner.  Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of His Son:  'ye were bought at a price,' and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us.  The only man who has the right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ.  Grace simply means discipleship."  


Attempting to portray half a Saviour, bringing only His love to the lost world, without at the same time illuminating His love with His truth, is the scheme afoot in the postmodern church!  Of course, half a Saviour is no Saviour at all.  Half the Gospel is no Gospel.  It's playing cafeteria Christianity, picking and choosing what parts of the Bible to believe and what parts to discard, like President Thomas Jefferson did.  That is NOT Christianity!  Liberal Christian is an oxymoron.  There can be no such person!

Speaking of tent revivals, the Catholic church I grew up in in Charlottesville, VA, held an honest-to-goodness tent revival meeting this August.  Lives were changed and rearranged for Jesus Christ as folks from many denominations and differing worldviews gathered together to praise, worship and listen to the Gospel preached in its entirety.  They were not there for a riveting performance, or to be told they are fine the way they are.  They already knew they were NOT fine the way they are.  That's why they were there!  They already knew they were living in rebellion towards God, seeking their own way.  In Matthew 9:11-13, Jesus' disciples were asked, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"  On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."  In essence, Jesus was saying that everybody is living in sin if they have not surrendered all to Him, and everyone is in need of His healing and His salvation if they want to have eternal life.  He didn't tell the tax collectors and sinners that they were fine the way they were.  He didn't join them in their sin in an attempt to relate.  He wasn't down with how they were living.  He boldly declared that they needed His healing and His salvation!  The people in attendance at The Church of the Incarnation, for the tent revival, were there to hear the Truth proclaimed!  Herein lies the crux of the problem with the postmodern church, what they have dubbed the "Big Tent" - we cannot simply embrace all religions as if they are equal.  THEY ARE NOT!  All paths do NOT lead to heaven!  There is one narrow way, folks, and we are told by Jesus, "few there be that find it."  How sobering!  The heresy the postmodern church teaches sends people to hell!  That is NOT love!  That is NOT the Good News of Jesus Christ!    Here is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer said to such heresy, "The church has only one altar, the altar of the Almighty ... before which all creatures must kneel. Whoever seeks something other than this must keep away, he cannot join us in the house of God ... The church has only one pulpit, and from that pulpit, faith in God will be preached, and no other faith, and no other will than the will of God, however well-intentioned." ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"We are saved by faith alone, but not by faith which is alone. That is, we are saved, not by anything we do, but by grace. Yet if we have truly understood and believed the gospel, it will change what we do and how we live.  Unlike cheap grace, which means going to church and hearing that God just loves and forgives everyone, so it doesn't really matter much how you live, anyone who truly understands how God's costly grace comes to us will have a changed life.  Costly grace changes you from the inside out.  Actions must follow what one believes, else one cannot claim to believe it."  ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Unlike the unbridled, unholy freedom Donald Miller preaches, the social gospel they proclaim, the worldly preaching focused on sex and pleasure from pulpits such as Rob Bell's, Jim Wallis', Brian McLaren's, the party atmosphere, and the empty 7/11 songs sung in the postmodern church, how about instead offering a courageous man, (like Dietrich Bonhoeffer) who actually knows and craves the wisdom and knowledge in God's Word, to bring the eloquent message of the Truth of the Good News, in all it's grandeur, power and majesty, to the toiling masses?  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  ~Galatians 5:1  We are free in Christ to do that which is right, to surrender all to Him, His will, His way.  We are not free to go back into bondage in Egypt, back into living for our own sinful will and way.  We are not free to take license in the freedom of Christ to live however we selfishly want to.

The old hymns and Scripture songs are fraught with powerful meaning.  Singing them instills peace, joy, comfort, strength and hope, as well as ensuring God's Holy Word will root deeply in one's heart.  My grandparents were blessed to hear fire and brimstone preaching, the truth of Jesus proclaimed.  They had the fear of God, unlike those in the postmodern church of today - the church that is supposedly so enlightened....so hip.

JESUS CHRIST IS THE SAME YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER.  All we need do is get back to His way, authentic Christianity, the Gospel of the Good News!

The Fruits of My Dad's Godly Life

Living a life of charity,

My dear dad’s legacy to me.

Such joy radiated from his being,

Benefiting from such joy was freeing.

His peaceful worldview on life,

Helped us live without much strife.

A kind and patient man was he,

Walking with Jesus for all to see.

Goodness marked most every act.

Choosing love, he spoke with tact.

Faithful to God through all his years,

True to God’s Word, not giv’n to fears.

Indwelling his gentle and quiet spirit,

God’s Holy Spirit in Dad was a fine fit.

Using self-control to live, not his will,

Choosing to live his life led by God’s will.

Ginny Kirk Bain Allen (Kirk was my Dad's name)

My 2009 Christmas Gift

What a person believes about God is basic to everything else. Do you believe the Word of God or not? “God chooses not milksops destitute of backbone, to wear his glory upon their faces. We have plenty of men made of sugar, nowadays, that melt into the stream of popular opinion; but these shall never ascend into the hill of the Lord, nor stand in his holy place, nor wear the tokens of his glory.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon

We all give our allegiance to some master. Who is it you serve? Yourself? satan? Are you ruled by your flesh? Do you worship at the altar of material possessions, alcohol, power, prestige, money, popularity, fun, hobbies, leisure time, physical appearance, fountain of youth, Hollywood, the music industry, pornography, narcissism? Are you constantly distracted by other things so you won't have time to examine yourself, and be still before God? Are you constantly chasing after your next pleasurable dopamine fix to fill the God-shaped hole in your heart? Are you always attempting to ease the suffering in your heart, that living in this impersonal world brings, with shopping, cigarettes, booze, food, sex, entertainment? Do you protect your eye-gates and ear-gates from impurity? Is your time lavished selfishly on yourself or do you use it to serve the Lover of your soul? Do you worship at the feet of The One who bled and died for your sins? Who is on the throne in your life? Are you willing to be poured out like oil on the altar for Him – thy will to break, His will to take?

Chuck Colson's Manhattan Declaration is perhaps the most significant document in recent years. It draws a line in the sand on the three paramount issues of our time: the sanctity of human life, the sanctity of marriage as the holy and conjugal union of husband and wife, and the rights of religious liberty and conscience. As my mentor, Dr. James Dobson, stated on his radio program recently, if our values are "not preserved at this moment of destiny, this nation and most others in the Western world will fold, and freedom itself will go down with it." Will you stand with others who claim Christ as Lord, and who long to better our country, or will you stand with those who oppose us? I implore you to do the right thing, and sign the Manhattan Declaration!

“No lips ever spoke with such thundering indignation against sin as the lips of the Messiah. While in tenderness he prays for His tempted disciple, that his faith may not fail, yet with awful sternness he winnows the heap, and drives away the chaff into unquenchable fire. His meekness was balanced by His courage, and by the boldness with which he denounced hypocrisy. 'Woe unto you, Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites; ye fools and blind, ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?' These are not the words of the milksop some authors represent Christ to have been. He is a man – a thorough man throughout – a God-like man – gentle as a woman, but yet stern as a warrior in the midst of the day of battle. The character is balanced; as much of one virtue as of another.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon Too often folks these days attempt to bring only half of Jesus to the world, but you can't bring His love, without at the same time illuminating His love with His truth! We don't have a Saviour without both His love and His truth!

Jay Sekulow at The American Center for Law and Justice is unceasingly working to defend our freedom and our children's and grandchildren's future, which are dangerously on the line. From Capitol Hill to the Supreme Court of the United States, from the United Nations to the International Criminal Court, God has uniquely positioned him to be a strong voice for liberty. (Liberty is the freedom to do that which is right.) He needs our financial support to continue to fulfill that calling. Here are just a few reasons to fund The ACLJ: In Gonzalez v. Planned Parenthood of Los Angeles, they're holding Planned Barrenhood accountable to a multi-million-dollar taxpayer scam; in ACLU v. DeWeese, the ACLJ is squaring off against the ACLU in their ongoing crusade to eliminate any hint or reference to religion; the ACLJ has joined pro-life House Democrats and Republicans to intensify the fight against the massive government-run health care plan that makes abortion a “health benefit”. When did it become a legal “health benefit” to violently murder a precious, vulnerable, defenseless child??? Tyrants know that marriage and family are the basic core of society and the basic foundation of government, and if people are going to control others, they see marriage and family as their number-one threat. So tyrants always want to weaken the family, and that's what this government-run health care bill is designed to do. And it's designed to do it very effectively in myriad ways. The ACLJ is also at work with Representative Walter Jones to protect the constitutional rights of military chaplains to pray according to their faith. Internationally, the ACLJ is pushing to defeat an illegal act in violation of international law, the Defamation of Religions Resolution, advanced by the Organization of the Islamic Conference, which would make proclamation of the Gospel illegal worldwide. Jay is fighting aggressively against the power of the ICC to keep radical Islamists from taking control of the lives of Israeli soldiers … threatening the very sovereignty of Israel and the United States. This is simply a smattering of the evil in our fallen world that we MUST fight against. We cannot remain silent, especially for the younger generations!

As Dorothy Sayers said, “I believe it to be a grave mistake to present Christianity as something charming and popular with no offense in it. Seeing that Christ went about the world giving the most violent offense to all kinds of people, it would seem absurd to expect that the doctrine of his person can be so presented as to offend nobody. We cannot blink at the fact that gentle Jesus, meek and mild, was so stiff in His opinions and so inflammatory in His language that He was thrown out of church, stoned, hunted from place to place, and finally gibbeted as a firebrand and a public danger. Whatever His peace was, it was not the peace of an amiable indifference.” Jesus said He came not to bring peace, but division. “Realize that the aim of the Prince of Peace is not peace with unbelief and disobedience. Those are the enemies that must be destroyed, lest they destroy. When the amnesty of Jesus is despised, division is inevitable. What we meet in the biting language of Christ is a form of love that corresponds with the real world of corruption, the dullness of our hearts and the magnitude of what is at stake in our choices. If there were no great evils, no deaf hearts and no eternal consequences, perhaps the only fitting forms of love would be a... soft touch and tender words. But such a world does not kill the Son of God and hate his disciples.” ~John Piper

There's been a powerful marketing blitz since 1988 to sell “gay rights” to America. Another agenda underway has been that of establishing and propagating the myth of church-state separation. How about the scheme afoot to sell sex and rebellion to our children? There is a fierce campaign to destroy marriage. Fraudulent science has unleashed a catastrophic “Revolution” whose aim is to cause us all to be obsessed with sex. Radicals have hijacked America's education system by sabotaging our schools. The press creates a world of illusion we think is real. Lying marketers have sold America on unrestricted abortion. Consider the multicultural madness that has turned our western culture upside down in one generation. Before his Inauguration, Obama said, “We are just five days away from fundamentally transforming the United States of America.” That's what his administration is attempting to do, folks. Do you think our country needs to be fundamentally transformed??? If so, why? I implore you to learn the truth about those with whom he has surrounded himself. I don't spend copious amounts of time with dangerous radicals, Communists, Socialists, Marxists, Fascists, underground weathermen, unrepentant felons, liars, thieves, abortionists, pornographers, charlatans, etc. Our President does! Such unsavory characters have his ear on a regular basis! That should give us all pause. “Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future!” We all need to realize the truth of Jesus, for He is our best hope!

Ginny Bain Allen

Blessings

The awe inspired as I marvel at the bounty of my imaginative Creator's goodness.

The assurance guaranteed that I will live forever with Him.

The strength gained while worshiping in the midst of Christ's believers.

The faith applied when two or more of us pray together in His name.

The hope renewed when in His authoritative Word I stay.

The serenity expressed, on the face of a wee child, that I yearn to claim for myself.

The unconditional love afforded me by a kindred spirit who believes in and trusts me, come what may.

The security achieved as my industrious earthly father and husband supply my every need.

The peace enjoyed while living in a cozy home with my nurturing, servant mother.

The compassion modeled in the words and actions of a gentle brother.

The joy shared while engaging in heart-to-heart chats with my children.

The opportunity given me to spread the good news of Jesus Christ.

The obligation required of me to help others in His name.

The freedom discovered as I surrender my all to the One who breathed into me His gift of life.